and the process continues

the book is out & now what

I went to a short and intimate Instagram Live poetry reading the other day, put on by the up-and-coming young Winnipeg poet Ally Loyns. In dim lighting with a backdrop of black and white checkered curtains and a static hum in her mic, Ally read for her six viewers pieces from her two collections, A Generation of Sunflowers and Bloom. Despite being her first live reading, she approached each reading like a seasoned theatre or spoken word poetry professional, driving each word to an emotional core with her careful timing and emphasis. She didn’t rush nervously, but took her time to let the poems’ phrasings sit with the audience. Ally’s enthusiasm and transparency captured me as I sat on my couch in my pajamas with my phone in front of me, and by the time Ally ended her program, I was in tears. This, I thought, this is what it’s all about.  

reflections on a book release

In case you missed it, on April 20, 2023, my baby book was released into the world. this is a love story is now available to purchase in pretty much any place you buy books, plus a few local Winnipeg bookshops like McNally Robinson and Whodunit Books. I planned a whole week of online events for the release, and planned to do an in-person launch once I had physical books in-hand (I was given many times the very pertinent advice to make sure you have physical books in-hand before you announce a launch).  

I planned an AMA on Substack, which garnered zero comments or questions and which I am embarrassed enough about that I deleted the post. I did my first livestreams ever on YouTube, one with my illustrator and designer Amber (you can watch it here), which totaled 48 views, and one with just a reading of my own (watch here) with currently 29 views. The biggest victory was there were no technical difficulties. The early reviewers I’d solicited posted their reviews, and now I have 6-8 reviews on the major retailers (if you’ve read it, I’d love if you left a review, of any kind and anywhere!) 

A lovely turnout for my in-person book launch at Whodunit Bookstore in Winnipeg

On May 31, I finally was able to pull off an in-person book launch at Whodunit Bookstore (lovely place for an event by the way), with attendance of around 45 people, and in total 30 of the 45 books I had for sale were bought. Most of the attendance was made up of family and friends and friends of both, with only a couple of people I didn’t know in attendance. (One friend gave the sage advice to expect mostly friends and family with a couple of randoms, haha). It was still lovely to be able to connect with other people in-person and feel celebrated.

Me and my illustrator, Amber, gearing up to sign a stack of books!

imposter syndrome what else is new

It has been a whirlwind and I’m so glad the book is out in the world, but it’s so easy for me to focus on the things I didn’t do. Maybe I need to work on my online presence to get more engagement on things like AMAs. Maybe I should’ve focused more on print media. Maybe I should have saved some energy for promotion after release. Maybe I should’ve tried to get more early reviewers, to have more of a splash on release day. I could go on. I expected to feel different having a book out in the world, more legitimate, or something. There are endless anxieties and feelings of imposter syndrome, thinking about the numbers of sales, or attendance, or viewers, or likes, or followers, but I also know every writer I’ve connected with has similar doubts (confirmed in this excellent essay by Kimberly Gomes on Write or Die).

But sitting in that Instagram live with six other souls, I was reminded of what’s underneath all of those numbers: story, beauty, vulnerability, connection, humanity. It’s a puzzle, to constantly entangle and disentangle the strands of the business of publishing and the creation of art. But I am enjoying the process. 

next in the process...  

Everyone’s favourite question to ask as soon as an author has a book out is: so, what are you working on next?  

Despite filling my staycation this month with way too many fun things with friends, I still managed to take some time to reflect on what I want in my writing life going forward. I came up with a list of value statements, I suppose, and was pleased to find that most of what I do already aligns with those statements. Here are a few of those statements, and some of my plans going forward.

I will uplift others in my creative communities. I will make joyful and life-giving connections with other creatives. 

My plan: More storyteller love letters! I love, love, love connecting with authors and I’ve really loved the opportunities I’ve had to interview creative people over the past couple years. I know the regular format of this newsletter has been up and down, but I definitely want to get back to author interviews. I have so many ideas of people I want to reach out to, but if you want to be featured (or want to recommend someone), please let me know!  

I will honour my body and its energy and my need for rest and recovery. I will honour the creative process and not force myself into hyper productivity to feel worthy. I will write and create with commitment, consistency, love and compassion over punishment, guilt, or shame. 

My plan: Back to writing! Currently I’m diving back into revising a full-length novel which I call my “friendship love story.” The epigraph is a quote from a song I love by Abbie Bosworth, “I forgot that friends can break hearts much more thoroughly.” It follows the stories of three friends from a small town through their first year of university, as they break apart and come back together. I’ve never had a story stick with me for so long and the dive back into fiction has been so nice after spending a bit of time in poetry and creative non-fiction. So many people now know me as a poet, but I really think of myself as a fiction writer first and foremost! 😊  

Or… all of the above? None of the above? Something else entirely? Give suggestions in the comments below!

Thanks for following my journey, in all it’s inconsistencies.

Happy August,

Alyssa