survival mode

self-compassion is easier said than done

September is always a time of reflecting and setting goals for me, just as much as January is, if not more so.

This September, I was eager to jump into new things and set new goals. My wedding was over and I was ready to get back to writing and working on pursuing publication of my next book.

I joined multiple writing groups, determined to connect with people and create, and I worked on polishing the query of my YA friendship love story and sent it out to 15 or so agents and publishers. I did Chelene Knight’s creative ecosystem mini-workshop, and was excited to be on the upswing of being involved and growing my writing life again. I wasn’t in the slow, restful stage; I was in the energetic, productive stage!

Well, THAT didn’t last. Life happens, as it does, and for reasons, I have had minimal energy to do much of anything in the past few months, much less write. I have received rejections to pretty much all of the queries I sent out, which tells me I probably have to revise my query letter, but as you can see on this fancy chart I put together, querying/publishing pursuits is on the list of things that drain me. And when I have limited energy to begin with, it’s hard to spend time on something that will just suck it up more.

It’s so much easier to say I believe in taking breaks and resting when needed and not being hard on yourself for not being “productive” when I’m not in that space. In September, when everything was going well, I thought, of course, if I need to, I’ll slow down and take breaks and be kind to myself. Now that I actually need rest, I’m just frustrated at how behind I feel in all my goals and plans for the remainder of the year.

So now it’s time to rethink everything again. Starting with paring down my fall goals:

Refresh edit a few paragraphs on my website

Start experimenting more spend time on social media

Connect with writers/community! a writer

I think I did those things. And I did send out queries for the first time, and I did make it to the Wild & Wonderful Words Reading (even if it wasn’t my best reading of my work…)

I’m not sure how to fit writing or publishing goals into my life at the moment. I’m still trying to figure it out, and it might be a while. It’s hard knowing I have to slow down while I feel like I’m falling behind (which I know is silly). I think for now I’ll start with trying to back to the core of what I enjoy and does fuel me, which is the writing part, and connecting with others if and when I can.

How do you deal with having to slow down your creative (or non-creative) work unexpectedly?

xo,

Alyssa

P.s. I was looking back at photos from this year, and while I might not have done much in the past few months writing-wise, I still did a lot this year, and even this fall. I went to book launches, I wrote stuff, I got together with friends and writer-friends, I went to workshops and writing sprints. It’s so easy to focus on the stuff we haven’t done than reflect on all we have accomplished.

P.p.s. and survival mode is why you’re getting my normal first-week-of-the-month newsletter on December 23. Hopefully it’s not too depressing for the season! Rest well!