let's go for a walk

love letters to storytellers june 2022

Hey! You can now listen to an audio version of this newsletter if you click here. (Just a note, it’s just me reading to you as a friend, so there’s a couple hiccups here and there).

Let's go for a walk together today. I think you and I both need a break.

We’ll start in the morning, when the air is cool. The sun is shining. We’ve made it through a long winter, so the sun is extra sweet.

I start out buried deep in my thoughts, distracted by the emotions and stresses of the week. I think of all I need to do. I think about how hard it is for me to focus on what’s around me instead of what’s in my head. Both my therapist and past writing instructors I’ve had encourage me to pay attention to all five senses, so I try to become more aware in order to ground myself in the present moment. I am better at letting my mind wander in all directions, but if I do that, I realize I’ve walked blocks and didn’t notice.

The smell of cool, fresh air cuts through my often-clogged sinuses. I hear so many birds, chirping, singing and I join them in a brief call-and-response. I see a blue jay and am finally glad to be out here. I hear traffic in the distance, the thumping footsteps of runners on the path around me, and the whizz of bike tires. Mostly, though, I just hear birds.

And I see green. This is always what feels magical after a six-month winter; that the world does exist in colour after all. It’s especially sweet this year, remembering the never-ending brown grasses of the previous summer’s drought. I see trees and the muddy waters of the river creeping too far up the bank.

By the time I've made it to the park, I forget that I left the house mad and frustrated and wanting to run away. I'm breathing hard from the exercise and my legs ache and I'm more awake than I've felt in awhile. I smile. Let’s keep walking for a bit longer.

updates

One of the things I’ve found in valuing mental health and self-care is that rest is central to that. I am always incredibly inspired by The Nap Ministry’s resistant call to rest, lay down, and do less. This month I decided to take that message to heart, trying not to put pressure on myself to do all the things, or force myself to write through lack of motivation, or pile more projects on my plate. It helped that I was away for a couple of weeks in Calgary/Banff, which was lovely to spend time away from the realities of every day life with lovely people. That’s one of the reasons there’s no featured storyteller for this month – I figured, let’s slow down. One thing I have learned about deciding on a slower pace of life, to listen to your body, to integrate rest into routines is that... everything is slower. You would think that would be obvious, but it turns out, rest also takes time.

Not that rest is easy, it’s one of the hardest things ever, especially in our work-is-worth society. But with rest, I feel more able to continue, it’s just slower and steadier. And since I took the pressure off myself to write, now I feel much more motivated to come back to it, and excited instead of frustrated like I was last month.

As far as writing goes, Amber (my illustrator) and I are still working on illustrations for my book. It is crazy to think when we started our contract in October, it was for a year and we’re already about half way through. This month I was also longlisted for the Canada-wide creative nonfiction contest for the Creative Nonfiction Collective. The shortlist will be announced soon! I did have the momentary thought of cool, that (very personal and vulnerable) piece about my life might be published, and then the horror of that same thought: oh no, this very personal, vulnerable piece about my life might be published.

Happy June!

Alyssa

p.s. You may have noticed your newsletter is coming from a different place this month! I am in the process of switching platforms from Mailchimp to Substack. (So also make sure this new newsletter is on your safe senders list). With some research, I think Substack suits my needs more as a writer, and I have some plans for more content, so stay tuned! The format for now will still be the same, monthly letters with featured storytellers and some writing updates. To get familiar with Substack, check out Human Stuff by Lisa Olivera, The Middle by Alexandra Fuller, Craig Terlson Talks Story, The Isolation Journals by Suleika Jaouad, or Dracula Daily.