i finished writing my book (again)

and some sneak peeks

Draft 4 of my friendship love story Empty Cities is DONE and I still haven’t stopped loving this story of these messy young adult characters growing up, learning about themselves, and learning how to do friendship with each other.

I’ve written four drafts of this book, and with every draft I still think “this is a good book” and “I like this story” and “This is the story I wanted to write.” I think that’s a good sign.

I asked on Instagram what people might want to read about my draft in a newsletter, and the winner was my favourite lines!

Here are a few lines from the book to give you an idea of the kind of story that Empty Cities is and if you might want to read it. :)

first, friendship

Because romantic relationships weren’t a big part of my life until later in life, as I was growing up I was constantly searching for stories where friendship was the focus. I would often start reading a book with an interesting friendship dynamic and was disappointed when it yet again turned into a romance. Just once, I wanted the friendship storyline to be valued just as much. Don’t get me wrong, I love romances, but I wanted some good friendship stories too.

Empty Cities alternates point-of-views between the three main characters Violet, Aaron and Alycia, as their friendship breaks apart and comes back together over their first year after high school. I always wanted a story that revolved around a friendship and not a romance and stayed that way, so I wrote one.

Empty Cities has all the friendship dynamics: the blossoming of new friendships, the agony of long-distance friendships, the ache of being friends with someone who is struggling and you don’t know how to help them, the fragility of friendships when so many other factors are pulling you in different directions and the difficulty of committing over time to someone that you don’t have a formal structure (like coupledom) to define.

“I don’t want them to have to new experiences,” Violet pouts. “I want them to remember I’m the best friend they’ve ever had, who is always there for them. I don’t want anything to change and I want us to be friends until we die.”

Violet is an ocean way and she feels like her friends are slipping through her fingers like sand.

Maybe splitting her soul is dangerous, Violet thinks, but if she could do it right now, she would in a second, no matter the cost.

When Aaron caught Alycia’s gaze over the top of Violet’s head, he saw straight into her soul. She was stunned for a second, and then Aaron grinned. She knew, then, that as many walls as she put up to protect herself, Aaron would see through them all.

Aaron was the most genuine person Alycia knew, maybe ever known. Maybe that was the real reason she didn’t want to spend any time with him now. She’s afraid of what he might see. Or, she’s afraid of what he might have lost.

Despite having a thousand things she needs to do, Alycia’s heart pinches, against her will. These calls are never long enough, never fulfilling enough. Forcing themselves to talk to each other over screens just isn’t the same as lying beside each other in silence, doing their own thing, for hours.

Aaron misses Vi a lot, even though he knows she’s probably having an amazing time and he’s happy for her. But he can’t help but pinpoint when she left as the moment everything started falling apart.

the emotional rollercoaster of growing up

I’ve talked about this before, but I love writing coming-of-age. My first book this is a love story is my own coming-of-age story of learning about myself and putting names to things I experienced like anxiety as I grew up.

I like writing about this life stage because it's such an emotional rollercoaster of transitions and life development and learning about yourself. In Empty Cities, Violet, Alycia and Aaron have to figure out who they are and what they want now if they’re going to continue being friends. Violet is living a new place, meeting new people and learning new things about herself; Alycia and Aaron are both figuring out if their idealized dreams are really what they wanted after all.

“I think you want to grow up too fast,” Vi says.

I think you’re not growing up fast enough, Alycia doesn’t say.

no easy fixes for mental illness

I don’t think I can write anything that doesn’t touch on mental health in some way, and Empty Cities is no different. Violet has my anxiety, although her journey with that already happened by the time this book starts (read this is a love story for that journey lol). Alycia is an overachieving perfectionist, and Aaron is dealing with developing depression.

I didn’t know anyone in university that didn’t struggle with some sort mental health issue (university creates the perfect conditions for mental health issues I think), and I wanted realistic depictions of mental health struggles to be part of these character’s journeys. It was also important to me that their issues weren’t neatly cured or fixed at the end; mental health is a lifelong journey and is something some people have to manage for the rest of their lives. Again, the focus goes back to the friendship and how that intersects with these character’s mental health journeys.

There’s nothing he can do, so he stays in his room instead. He doesn’t go out with the guys in his dorm, he doesn’t go to class, he just stays under his covers as they absorb his sweat, day after day, and every night he begs the night to take him.

All he wants to do is crawl back into bed, pull the covers over his head, forget all of this. Forget all the questions that come after: the, but what really happened?, the what now?, the what’s your plan to get better? He doesn’t know.

She’ll just push through. She’ll push through until the end of the semester, and then she’ll figure something out. For now, she fills her life with classes and commutes and French club meetings and tells herself it all means something.

“How was your flight?” Aaron says, since he hasn’t seen Vi much except in passing as one does in this town.

“It was fine,” Vi says, concentrated on getting him set with the skis and the poles. “Uneventful. How are you?”

Aaron shrugs. “Okay.” Her brows furrow up at him and he realizes she meant how he really is.

why I wrote this book

I wrote this book for me at eighteen, and any other young person that wants confirmation that the effort they are pouring into their friendships is meaningful, and that their friendships are just as valuable and can be just as complicated, messy and difficult as any other relationship.

What do you think? Would you read my book?

updates

So now that I’ve spent an entire newsletter talking about friendship…I’m getting married this month!! So you probably won’t hear from me again until fall, or until I have a significant update for you.

The next steps for this draft is to send it back out to some readers to see if the edits I made actually worked, and then it’s time to do more business writing: polishing my query, doing some social media, updating my website, maybe writing some submissions. I’m ready to come out from my drafting cave and interact with the wider writing community again, but I’ll have to see what that looks like after my summer writing hiatus!

Have a great summer!

xo

Alyssa